2004-11-24 O 9:24 p.m.

What a mess I create. Let me explain the foundations of this diary. To begin with, everything was about a (one, singular) boy-- a certain Benjamin Joseph. This was my love letter to him. Once we started dating, it was still a love letter for him. We have since broken up and remained friends. However, the diary obviously couldn't stay the same because my feelings did not feel the same. I decided to try something new. See, for years now, I have written every night quite diligently in three different notebooks. One is about my day in general (what I did, silly things said, bad moments, etc.), another is about how I feel (about my day, it's events, or life in general), and the other is about love. The latter is my heart. Boys that I have dated, had crushes on, loved, and hated are all immortalized in black ink on white pages.
When Benjamin and I ended our romantic relations, this diary was on hiatus for quite some time. Then I had a revelation. And Epiphany, if you will. I decided to crazy glue my notebooks together to make a new form of withlove. A classic love story with a modern twist. I took the three boys that I've ever fancied myself capable of falling in love with (two of which I did just that) and I have created the epitome of a guy. I take moments in life from each notebook, and I piece them together to form a more perfect story. Granted, yes, there is one that I found myself immensely attracted to; but he is nothing more than a good friend and I pray he will continue to be that to me in the upcoming years.
I hope this has cleared up some of the confusion running rampant about this diary. I am writing to a hodge podge man with the oddest sounding name in the entire world with two different colored eyes, patchy brown and blonde hair, and a completely unsymmetrical body (because he has taken on the physical characteristics that I liked of my three little men). He is fictitious and yet, still so very real. He is, after all, the compilation of living, breathing, beautiful male species.